Hi fam,
How are you doing? Let me be honest, this wasn’t the initial mood for this post but I gotta give it to the Holyspirit, He absolutely gets it and knows what’s good lol (you’ll totally get what I’m saying in a bit don’t worry *smiles*).
First off, the CNS (Chief of Naval Staff) just commissioned the Naval officer’s gym and let me tell you, as far as I’m concerned that was my sign from Daddie that we are really on to another level, greater and packed because I mean if not, why now when it feels like my mental be doing the most. This one was for me and I don’t care how entitled it sounds (even if we don’t like entitlement in this zone, just oblige me this one bit lol)
This is me yea, I low key, low key, low low key am a potential loner. I do love to experience beauty and life, but I can thrive perfectly all alone in one space. Now, I think i’ve just got the best fam and immediate community that makes it look otherwise; we are quite in sync, easily share common interests and I deliberately try as well because of them, my profession and the fact that I really love to share with people. Why am I sharing this though? So, because e already dey body, once I am mentally stressed, extremely mentally engaged; creative wise or personally evaluating, I will zone out, nothing will stop it, I will just not exist on the surface, but you see this my dear Nigeria, ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She has made it so hard to not default mode. I mean I am Nigerian; I love my Nigeria, I know what God has planned for her and I’m beyond hopeful for it all but the realities I wake up to, the news we have to digest, mehn it just keeps me even more tasked and attached, it’s been hard to default mode.
These past weeks I’ve just been in and out of deliberate worship, word study (my personal time with Daddie) and now thank God I’ve got a gym to go to! Like the timing couldn’t have been better. I did not even realize myself how therapeutic it was until after my first day (let’s just overlook how hard my instructor drilled me and how I was a total waste the next day) but I must admit, it just seemed to get me back on some balance. I still am a bit zoned out but it’s more because my creative juices are flowing and I naturally wouldn’t disrupt the process. I’m grateful to be engaged in a number of commitments that I love which drive me, but it wasn’t until I got a rain check with Daddie that I understood it was already starting to affect even my mood in my day-to-day life, thank God I’ve got the perfect partner that sees through the tightness and pushes to be somewhat annoying but helpful as opposed triggering.
While writing today, I caught up with a bit of the gubernatorial election updates earlier in the morning and I felt weak again. I thought to myself, “you can’t post what you want to, it doesn’t relate, it’s oblivious. You need to rant, drown, or just stop writing and definitely stop creating, there is no point, rest!” and I promise I was ready to, but as I went back to edits to watch the short clip again, I realized, what the heck, I’m curating what I’m sharing aren’t I? I’m not under anyone’s timetable so hey, all I need do is stay real to my feelings and still share my update. Fam! Right there, the whole trajectory changed, and this is what you get – an honestly frustrated Nigerian, extremely hopeful, dedicatedly engaged creatively and excited she now has a gym to go to that’s been some unexpected therapy for her mentally abused mind. Please if it’s not giving this, just find me and gift me a trip to a beach resort off the shores of Nigeria. I’m sure one week away will reset me *Laughs*
“AND WE KNOW THAT GOD CAUSES EVERYTHING TO WORK TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE GOD AND ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE FOR THEM”. ROMANS 8:28 NLT
This is the scripture that comes to mind in my life personally and as a Nigerian. God’ll do what’s good!
xoxo
Jasminwryts
